A Survivor’s Guide to Narcissistic Abuse

I’ve spent quite a bit of time since the beginning of the year in preparing, recording and processing my latest audiobook – The Vampire Hunter’s Field Manual – A Survivor’s Guide to Narcissistic Abuse. It’s written by Matt Davis, with a Foreword by actor Gemma Oaten, who are both survivors of narcissistic abuse.

Matt’s approach is not only based on his own experience but is rooted in psychology theory and other academic disciplines. He’s combined a matter-of-fact approach with an element of humour that gives permission and hope for survivor’s to laugh again. Even during recording, I found bits of it very funny (had to edit my laughs out though).

I’ve been sending over chapters to him as and when they’re finished and I’m glad to say he’s pleased with the results so far, and he loves the ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ feel of the audiobook. Here’s a short sample:

To give a brief overview, the book covers:

  • The Mind of the Vampire
  • The Vampire’s Attack Cycle, Weapons and Tactics
  • Drama and the Drama Triangle
  • How Vampires train their Targets
  • The biological, psychological and emotional effects of narcissistic abuse
  • How Targets may become Survivors and the Key Skills they can acquire

I’m hoping to get it completed by the end of February and it should be on sale on Audible and iTunes by the middle of March. If you would like to receive a free copy for review, please email me at wallender1957@outlook.com and I will send you details on how to download it.

Here is the link to Amazon if you wanted to get a paperback/Kindle copy. I hope you enjoy it and that you find it helpful – it’s certainly taught me a lot.




A different kind of Vampire…still not very nice though


Audiobook narration part 3

Some people have been getting into a flap about the latest interpretation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, broadcast on the BBC over the Christmas break. Whilst not actually shedding blood over the subject, this mini-series (if three 90 minute episodes meet the definition) has driven a stake between those who love it and those who…don’t. Claes Bang’s performance as the eponymous Count has been met with pretty much universal acclaim, but issues over the writing and, in my view, mangling of the story have seen some critics going for the jugular over this seasonal gore-fest. Van Helsing’s a nun? Harker is a zombie? Such liberties with the original source provide a rich vein of controversy that some cannot resist getting their teeth into, but as has been said many times before, fangs ain’t what they used to be…

Sorry. I can’t keep it up. Having got your attention (I hope), what I really want to say is that I have just started work on my latest audiobook – The Vampire Hunter’s Field Manual: A Survivor’s Guide to Narcissistic Abuse, by Matt Davis.

Matt gave the green light to the first 15 minutes last week and I have already submitted the introduction and the first chapter for his approval. It’s a tough subject but his style is very accessible and the book is proving to be a pleasurable task, as far as narration goes. It’s my longest project so far, coming in at 106k words and will finally be a 11+ hour listen.

He writes from personal experience and, combined with an academic background in psychology, he breaks down and explains a surprisingly common phenomenon. He examines those who, in their personal and intimate relationships, prey on others as a source of narcissistic supply due to having a disordered personality (rather than a personality disorder). Such individuals he describes, justifiably, as Vampires.

The book is essentially written for those who have survived or are undergoing an abusive relationship and will fall into the self-help category, but I would recommend it to anyone. The Forward is written by actor Gemma Oaten who, as UK readers might know, starred in ITV’s never-ending soap opera Emmerdale.

I hope to finish this project by the end of February so, all being well, the audiobook should be on sale in March, at which time I will be back, encouraging all and sundry to CROSS Audible’s palm with SILVER and add to the growing COUNT of audiobook fans…

No, that really is it.

The Last Roundhead – Great feedback!

There has been some feedback on Twitter from a distinguished source. Doctor Robert Lyman has listened to the audiobook and has said:

Doctor Lyman is a military historian and has acted as consultant on the BBC show ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ Here’s a link to his website:


If you would like a copy of the audiobook for review, please email me at wallender1957@outlook.com

Or, if you are new to Audible, please use this link:





The Rat in the Cellar – part 2

Thursday night saw the revival of The Rat in the Cellar, a radio play performed in front of a sold-out house at St Mary in the Castle, Hastings UK.

The star of the show was Miriam Margolyes, well-known film and TV actor, famous for portraying Professor Sprout in the Harry Potter series of films. Here is the cast in rehearsal on the day.

MM and cast

Sitting next to her is yours truly, as her husband in the play, with Garry Fox and Peter Mould as Jimmy and Mike.

The evening was packed, with a good audience of just under 450. It was a charity event for the Hastings Coffin Club and raised a goodly sum for the charity. It was quite an experience for me, Garry and Peter, working with such a high-profile star and nearly a national treasure. Great fun.


I’m pleased to say that my latest audiobook is now on sale:


Blandford Candy is sent to London, after an illicit affair, and joins the Roundhead army to fight against the King, taking part in the Battle of Edgehill.

A reluctant hero if ever there was one, he becomes a spy for the cause – and, through luck or judgement, uncovers more than one Royalist plot. His love of wine and the fairer sex prove both a curse and a blessing for the agent. Blandford soon earns the enmity of the King’s spy mistress Jane Whorwood, and patronage of the great parliamentarian leader John Hampden.

As well as navigating the politics and perils of the Civil War Blandford must also deal with members of his family, who turn out to be to be far more duplicitous and ruthless than any rival agent.

To survive, Blandford must choose a side.

The Last Roundhead is the first book in the acclaimed series of novels, charting the adventures of Sir Blandford Candy during the English Civil War.

Recommended listening for fans of Bernard Cornwell, Michael Jecks, and George MacDonald Fraser’s Flashman books.

The author, Jemahl Evans, has written about his experience using Audible for the first time on his blog – here is a link:


If you would like to sign up with Audible, please use these links:

US readers : https://www.audible.com/pd/B0821X8QD9/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-174243&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_174243_pd_us

UK readers: https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0821YM642/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H7-BK-ACX0-174243&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_174243_pd_uk

Happy listening!


The Rat in the Cellar

On the 19th December, I will be appearing alongside Miriam Margolyes in a live reading of a radio play, The Rat in the Cellar. The event is in aid of a charity called the Coffin Club (https://coffinclub.co.uk/). Miriam is a veteran British/Australian actor, well-known for playing Professor Sprout in the Harry Potter films. She is currently appearing in Sydney and The Old Girl at the Park Theatre in Finsbury Park, London.

Here is link to the event’s website:


And here is Miriam with the two founders of the Coffin Club in Hastings, Kate Tym and Kate Dyer:


I play her character’s husband, who she has imprisoned in the cellar of her house and feeds him by way of the coal shute. The story describes their relationship and how they got to be in this situation. There is a very interesting twist at the end, which is both funny and touching. I’m looking forward to it and will post further details and pics of the event in due course.



Audiobooks – Branching out

So far, I have narrated two parts of the Nature’s Magic series, two parts of the Jack Windrush series and the first part of the Blandford Candy series – YA fantasy and historical fiction – nothing wrong with that, but I am always conscious of being pigeon-holed and will be seeking to branch out into other genres next year.

After seeing Count Arthur Strong last week (see below) I bumped into an old acting friend and we got talking about our current projects. To cut a long story short, he self-published a book earlier this year and, after some discussions, we’ve decided to collaborate on producing it as an audiobook.

It’s called The Vampire Hunter’s Field Manual: A Survivor’s Guide to Narcissistic Abuse, written by Matt Davis. As a title, it’s a bit of a mouthful, but bear with me. Here it is on Amazon:


Matt has an academic grounding in psychology and has taught it extensively in schools and FE colleges. He has also had experience of the book’s subject, hence the inspiration to write it. It took him a year but the audiobook should take slightly less than that – I’m hoping to get it out by the end of February 2020.

Narcissistic abuse is not an uncommon experience, for many people. I did not know much about it but I understand this to be an important project and a service to an old acting friend. Matt refers to narcissistic abusers as ‘vampires’ (hence the title – sorry, fans of the blood-sucking kind).

Here’s an extract from the book on its subject matter:

Vampires are incapable of Love, Empathy, Compassion and Reciprocity because they see other people as objects. 

 The capacity for Love, Empathy, Compassion and Reciprocity develop during childhood. Since the Vampire is developmentally arrested, they never developed the capacity for these things. The abuse, trauma and/or neglect they experienced resulted in a developmental arrest during a critical phase in their emotional development. In the normal development of a child, the idea that other people exist in their own right is something that is learned through experience.

Young children start out by seeing people as objects, no different from their toys. It’s why you don’t leave toddlers and dogs together unattended. As they develop, children gradually come to recognise that people and objects are different, which can take many years to learn fully. People have feelings, just as they do. Objects don’t. The gradual understanding that people and objects are different is part of normal development but the development of the Vampire is massively hindered by abuse, trauma and/or neglect, potentially on an on-going basis. This prevents the development of the understanding that people and objects are different in any meaningful way. pp19-20

It’s a weighty tome – approx 104k words – but extremely well-written, engaging and at times, very funny. I’m really looking forward to getting on with this project and hopefully engaging with a new audience. We’re also aiming it at self-help/counselling groups.

I’ll use this blog as a record of progress and eventual publication – watch this space.